Self Serving Public Policy via Courts Hurts

When the courts, and life generating technologies, are manipulated by the whims of a few to make law and redefine family for the many, we end up hurting more than helping … (my thoughts after the jump.)

Lesbian Argues Ga. Gays Can’t Adopt Kids

By GREG BLUESTEIN

Associated Press Writer

ATLANTA — Sara Wheeler’s life has become a contradiction.

Once a proud lesbian, she’s now a pariah in the gay community.

Once in a committed relationship with a female partner, she’s rethinking her sexuality.

And now she’s doing something she once would have considered
unthinkable — arguing that gays don’t have the legal right to adopt
children.

Wheeler is coming to grips with the fact that she’s become an
outcast for taking this step in a custody fight for her child. But she
says that isn’t what her fight is about: "It’s about motherly rights."

Wheeler, 36, and her partner, Missy, decided to start a family
together and share the Wheeler last name. In 2000, Sara Wheeler gave
birth to a son, Gavin, through artificial insemination. Two years
later, they decided Missy Wheeler should adopt the child and legally
become his second parent.

Georgia law doesn’t specifically say whether gay parents can adopt a
child, so the decision was up to a judge in the Atlanta area’s DeKalb
County. After an adoption investigator determined that both partners
wanted it, the judge cleared the request.

The couple’s relationship later soured. Missy Wheeler wouldn’t
comment for this story, but her attorney, Nora Bushfield, said Sara
became involved with someone else and wouldn’t let Missy and Gavin see
each other.

Sara Wheeler acknowledged the other relationship, saying "regardless of my action, it doesn’t make me a bad mother."

Sara and Missy Wheeler had split by July 2004, and Missy was fighting for joint custody of the boy.

The two sides do agree about one thing: The case is about a mother’s rights.

"Everybody seems to forget we’re not talking about lesbian rights,"
Missy Wheeler’s attorney says. "We’re talking about a child who’s been
bonded with a mother."

Sara Wheeler made the legal argument that, since nothing in Georgia
law specifically allowed gay adoption, the adoption should be tossed
out.

Her first lawyers warned her the case could set gay rights back a century.

…

The case has taken a toll on Sara.

Aside from a few gay friends, she has turned away from the gay
community. She no longer dates, and doesn’t go to gay clubs or events
any more. She said she is rethinking whether she is still a lesbian or
whether she should abandon dating for good.

"I just don’t feel comfortable in that scene," she says. "I’m just trying to figure it all out."

She knows she’s seen as a betrayer; but in a sense, she feels she was the one betrayed.

"Before I’m anything — gay or lesbian — I’m a mother," she says.
"And the most important thing is to make sure my son has a relationship
with his biological mother."

Some have argued against gay adoption because homosexual couples don’t, for the most part, stay together long, that same sex attraction may not be chosen but self-determined identity and stewardship of one’s life (including sexuality) is possible and that children should not be purposefully placed in homes that exclude a mom or a Dad. They have also argued that the courts should not be legislative bodies but execute existing law judicially … that’s there function as the third branch of government.

Let’s not forget that the young son isn’t being raised with his father. He has one you know. A friend once told me that gay adoption can only exist by knocking on the door of heterosexuality. As wonderful as these ladies could possibly be, they cannot replace Dad.

This example proves every single one of those points. Not only that, instead of taking this ladies points and discussing them, the gay identified activist community is turning on her. Look at the URL of the linked article (emphasis mine) http://www.ajc.com/search/content/shared-gen/ap/National/Gay_Traitor.html … even the Atlanta Journal Constitution is calling her a "gay traitor" via the web address.

And what about the statement, "…Her first lawyers warned her the case could set gay rights back a century." … as if this case is going to reset the clock to 1905. Does that statement reflect a complete lack of appreciation for the tolerance that already exists in our country? … tolerance that allows these lawyers to make the case for pro-gay couples openly and without retribution? (unless you disagree with the gay activists, then you will find them attempting to silence you and plenty of retribution.) I find this statement reflective of the hyperbolic way that most gay centric activism is conducted today.

I know that there are a lot of whacked out messed up heterosexual households as well but that doesn’t replace the ideal. The ideal is that a child should be raised with a Mom and Dad in a lifelong committed marriage. Society is ill served when courts and life producing technology are consumer based and politically driven. The answer is a just society that places children’s rights to a Mom and a Dad (and in general) above adult desire.

I am not saying that children should be taken away from the other people or couples who have gone the same route as Sara mentioned in the above article. I am saying that the private sector (in it for the money) and the court system (in it for the political power and pressure) should stop enabling this hurtful dynamic.

Also, Sara, Gavin and Missy are known by God by name. He loves them all very much. We can argue policy and social/family dynamics but don’t ever forget that Sara, Gavin and Missy are having a very difficult time right now. And while everyone else is attempting to use this case to prove their points, the more important issue is the welfare of these three people and that must not be forgotten. I have said and continue to maintain that if you cannot pray and genuinely care for the people directly involved in these situations you really don’t need to argue public policy.

More:
NARTH: Review of Research on Homosexuality Parenting, Adoption and Foster Parenting
FOTF: Should the definition of family be revised in light of cultural changes?

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