Gay Initiation Class Seeks to Teach Proper Gayness
From University of Michigan offers ‘How to learn to be a Gay man’ course: (emphasis mine.)
ENGLISH 317. Literature and Culture.
Section 002 — How to be Gay: Male Homosexuality and Initiation.
Credits: (3; 2 in the half-term).
Instructor(s): David M HalperinCourse Description:
Just because you happen to be a gay man doesn’t mean that you don’t have to learn how to become one. Gay men do some of that learning on their own, but often we learn how to be gay from others, either because we look to them for instruction or because they simply tell us what they think we need to know, whether we ask for their advice or not.
This course will examine the general topic of the role that initiation plays in the formation of gay male identity. We will approach it from three angles: (1) as a sub-cultural practice — subtle, complex, and difficult to theorize — which a small but significant body of work in queer studies has begun to explore; (2) as a theme in gay male writing; and (3) as a class project, since the course itself will constitute an experiment in the very process of initiation that it hopes to understand.
Finally someone admits that there is gay fundamentalist ideology that has to be learned. That the gay male identity is “formed” and environmental not innate. That formation should be questioned and what do you do with the person who has zero interest in being initiated?… or being conformed to gay ideology?
For 15 years I have made the distinction that homosexuality is an attraction that might include sexual expression but being “gay” is an identity and worldview. Most in the gay community combine the two and demands strict adherence that those with same sex attraction MUST adopt the gay identity and worldview. Once again, this article proves my point:
In particular, we will examine a number of cultural artifacts and activities that seem to play a prominent role in learning how to be gay: Hollywood movies, grand opera, Broadway musicals, and other works of classical and popular music, as well as camp, diva-worship, drag, muscle culture, taste, style, and political activism. Are there a number of classically ‘gay’ works such that, despite changing tastes and generations, all gay men, of whatever class, race, or ethnicity, need to know them, in order to be gay? What is there about gay identity that explains the gay appropriation of these works? What do we learn about gay male identity by asking not who gay men are but what it is that gay men do or like? One aim of exploring these questions is to approach gay identity from the perspective of social practices and cultural identifications rather than from the perspective of gay sexuality itself. What can such an approach tell us about the sentimental, affective, or subjective dimensions of gay identity, including gay sexuality, that an exclusive focus on gay sexuality cannot?
What about football? When I was gay I hated musicals…still don’t care for them. But come on… Halperin is assuming a LOT of power.
At the core of gay experience there is not only identification but disidentification. Almost as soon as I learn how to be gay, or perhaps even before, I also learn how not to be gay. I say to myself, ‘Well, I may be gay, but at least I’m not like that!’ Rather than attempting to promote one version of gay identity at the expense of others, this course will investigate the stakes in gay identifications and disidentifications, seeking ultimately to create the basis for a wider acceptance of the plurality of ways in which people determine how to be gay.
So, apparently this class says that if you are gay you need to find out what kind of gay gay you are. Then, you may not be “that” kind of gay gay but as long as you don’t put down those other kind of gay gays you are a good gay determining how to be gay. And remember, you still need initiation and opportunities to experiment.
I am thinking that tuition could be better spent on classes that might actually prepare someone for their career.
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Sometimes I’m so glad that I didn’t go to a big college/university where I would have had to put up with this crap.
I hear you.
I’m a little confused. At many colleges at the level of UMich, classes like this are offered under a variety of topics, I thought. Women studies classes, the African-American experience, formation of racial and cultural identity…
It’s seems to me to just be one of many and rather usual.
And don’t worry about opting out… as with most universities classes, you only take them if you want to.
Being a woman or black is immutable and has history for thousands of years. The “gay” identity does not have immutability or a long history.
You don’t have to be initiated into being a woman or black.
This is far from usual and proves that while attractions may not be something one would choose … being “gay” is learned.
Oh I don’t know Randy, being gay has been around long enough to be mentioned in the Bible.
You make a living teaching people how to be ex-gay identified, I don’t see much of a problem with a class that teaches social skills to those who want it.
College students have a right to self determination, this class is just here to help those with wanted same sex attractions.
Oh I don’t think so Scott. Homosexuality is mentioned in the Bible…not being gay.
I don’t teach people how to be ex-gay identified but to live beyond homosexuality defining who they are and how it doesn’t have to determine how they behave (it’s up to them of course to accept what I have to say or not.)
You are right, everyone has a right to self-determination and if they want to become a two dimensional stereotype without any options, this class will be perfect.
Randy, I understand that you’re an ex-gay, but I don’t understand why you seem to only write posts that are derogatory towards gay men.
I didn’t need a class to learn to be gay and I certainly didn’t need an initiation by anyone. My partner is the least “gay” homosexual I’ve met, so we don’t all fit some stereotype and we certainly don’t have to play some role.
Think about the reason that we use the rainbow as a pride symbol - it expresses the diversity within the gay community.
What about this post is derogatory? I didn’t write the course description. There is a lot of what it means to be “gay” that is learned and this course alludes to that.
It is not my intention to be derogatory. I understand why you would see that and I am trying to push through those and my own generalizations. Yes, I am inferring that perhaps you are generalizing my intent on some of your own perceived assumptions.
Most people won’t press through the issues. But having been out and proud and once a part of “the rainbow” of diversity… it is a passion of mine to challenge the superficial glossing over of what being “gay” really means. It’s more than a pride symbol…it is a full worldview that is not innate…. but it is treated as if it is. No one is allowed to challenge this without being considered and unenlightened bigot and it is time for those who have same sex attraction, who don’t identify as gay and never will, to challenge the status quo. Part of that is point out some things that are uncomfortable.
Gay activists don’t believe me and will say what they want … my intent is not to hurt but to challenge. I don’t know how good a job I do at that but I am not going to stop trying.
Randy: Maybe “derogatory” is too strong of a word to describe your posts. I do sense that you have somewhat of a distaste for homosexuality. I even thought that you might be just another homophobic blogger before I read that you once identified as homosexual.
I understand what you are saying about challenging what it means to be gay. We do label ourselves far too much. I think it’s often a form of protection for many homosexuals who feel discriminated against by society. We are all striving for acceptance on some level, and if that doesn’t come from the population at large, perhaps we can get it from within a group of people with similar interests and desires.
Myself, I don’t really have many gay friends. I actually prefer hanging out with straight people, because I’m more comfortable than when I am around other gay men. Most that I’ve met are very judgmental, campy, and superficial. I know that reeks of stereotyping, but it’s the truth. Again, I think that can be the result of internalizing the hatred that is directed towards a gay person on a daily basis.
My whole life has been spent trying to adapt and fit into a “normal” mold. I attended a Christian school where homosexuality was deemed one of the lowest forms of sin. I now work in a very male-dominated work force, where most identify as Christian and all (?) are heterosexual. I am out to my coworkers, but have been told that I don’t act gay by some of them.
I sometimes wonder what is the point of altering my mannerisms or character just to fit into what society says is normal. It’s all relative, really.
This is longer than I intended, but I hope it reveals that just because we are homosexuals, it doesn’t mean that we’re all the same.
Hey Randy, I wanted to tell you how much I appreciated this article. The topic of gay identification is something I’ve been wrestling with here. A lot of people I meet, when they find out about my attractions, instantly think we have to follow some particular social activity (gay-bar hopping, example). A dear friend and I sat down over drinks and I shared with her, that’s not who I want to be, that’s not who I am. She was so awesome about listening.
Sometimes I get plain sick of people thinking, since I am attracted to guys, I can play their sitcom gay friend, but it’s what expecations have been cast upon society for me.
Brian, I love your posts. Randy met me when I hated God after I decided no longer to be a pastor studying at a Christian University with all the same stereotypes. I’m well acquainted with trying to fit into a “normal” mold. Anyway, thanks for the discussion, guys, Randy.
Thank you for adding your thoughts Joshua.
Brian, I don’t have a distaste for homosexuality itself. I understand it. My distaste is toward most gay activism. I find it very manipulative and not reflective of the current reality that most gay identified people are actually living. Modern day gay activism, and the worldview it represents, is more harsh and legalistic than anything I have experienced within the church.
Gay identified people don’t bother me at all. I was “mentored” truly, not sexually, by a gay male couple at 17 and a drag queen when I got thrown out of the house for being gay at 19. Homosexuality doesn’t bother me either. It’s been a part of my life for 29 years in some form or fashion (since I was 10).
I believe in basic civil rights, equal enforcement of the law, dignity and respect for anyone and everyone. I really do. But because I don’t tow the public policy line or modify my language to be a proper ex-gay the activists want me to be … I am deemed a liar and mocked.
This is long too so I will stop here. Thank you for your thoughtful response.
Randy,
another good post. The description of this class goes a long way in articulating how consuming a “gay” identity is.
There are so many ways homosexuality–when it’s embraced that way–permeates a person’s life (and is expected to). One of the things that disillusioned me personally concerning the gay community was all the ideals (political, relational and religious) I was expected to conform to.
People often don’t understand family and friends’ dismay when a loved one “comes out.” The argument’s commonly made, “I’m still the same person.”
Maybe what those people are (in some way) aware of is how, when the “gay” identity is given free reign, you’re not the same person.