A Wolf At The Table - An ETC Book Review — ETC: Everyday Thoughts Collected

***UPDATE: At the end of the post, after the jump***

I first wrote about Augusten Burroughs‘ not long ago. I was impressed with his writing ability and honesty.

I mentioned that I wasn’t really ready to read his book A Wolf At The Table because it sounded traumatizing. I knew it would trigger some of my own “stuff” and I was right.

It was horrible … very well written … but horrible.

I bought the book with a gift card I got for my birthday. It is easy to read … technically. Although, the subject matter kept my consumption of the book at a slow pace.

I was really surprised at the level of empathy I have for Augusten. Granted, I am not going to explore that in a blog post to any respectable degree. While the details of the different events in our respective lives are different I can relate to the systematic rejection, abuse and abandonment with the occasional violence and terror. Again, seperate lives and circumstances but many of the same themes and results.

Now, unlike Augusten, I never fantasized about killing my father … or anyone. Although, I did have serious other issues and ways to cope or escape.

I would recommend this for Christians interested in reading a non-Christian survival response ( I don’t think Augusten claims to be a Christian) to an abusive childhood. While the end result for Augusten is extraordinary (best selling author), his upbringing is unfortunately something millions and millions of people can relate to on some level. I would recommend this book, for the strong of heart. Augusten, again, displays a tremendous survival response, perseverance and amazing insights.

There is something about Augusten’s will to survive that speaks to the epic dignity of every human’s struggle against darkness and being able to cope in an imperfect world.

An Aside: It should be stated that Augusten’s Dad was planning to be a Pastor when he was young but he eventually fell away from faith with scorn and derision. It is a tough testimony to read.

While I do recommend the book, be warned… it could mess with your head. Make sure to take care and maintain proper stewardship of your time and attention.

UPDATE: New York Times Magazine Review, Hugo Lindgren

… is not so great. But, it is probably more objective than my take. Hugo Lindgren raises some constructive criticism …

… Memoirs are, by their nature, solipsistic affairs. There’s no getting around it. But there is a point at which a writer gets stuck so deep in his own mind that the reader stops trusting his ability to convey the outside world clearly. And that’s what happens here. “A Wolf at the Table” would be a far more successful book if Burroughs had been less obsessed with reconstituting his juvenile viewpoint and made more than a cursory effort at understanding what turned his father into such an awful, defective human being.

Early on, Burroughs provides a tantalizing sketch of his father’s upbringing, which started out idyllic and then turned abruptly sour, but then never develops or explores any of the themes. As a teacher, his father obviously had to maintain some level of normalcy with students, even as he was apparently behaving like a madman at home. How did he manage this? How did others see him? Similarly, the book provides no real insight into other important matters, like his parents’ faulty marriage or what was wrong with his brother. Burroughs is so consumed with himself and with all this freshly recalled horror and dread that there’s no air left for anyone else to breathe.

Hugo Lindgren is the editorial director of New York magazine.

I think Lindgren was unnecessarily harsh but I do like the questions Lindgren raises that would have rounded out the story in a broader, probably more compelling way. At the same time, that may simply be where Burroughs is with his journey along these lines. Is it possible that this had to pour out first in order for deeper thoughts and broader understandings to be arrived at and received?

It is a rough review but a lot of constructive feedback can be gleaned from it.

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Randy 06/15/2008 12:49 AM 1 point
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It's really interesting to me that this post has gotten zero comments. I always find it fascinating when I actually expect a post to generate discussion and it just goes kerplunk.

And then, posts I don't expect to get much traffic go off the hook. It's all very interesting to me :).

Hmmm.

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Ellie 06/15/2008 02:52 AM 1 point
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Ok, Randy.

Why do you think Lindgren was "unnecessarily harsh?" Having read Running with Scissors (I've only scanned A Wolf at the Table), I came up with most of those same criticisms. It doesn't seem like Burroughs looks any further than at the child he used to be. He never takes anyone else into real consideration, including his current self. But the problem with that is that we're reading a book written by him now, not him as a child. So even the self-character is not particularly real, because we can't see a division between what the child thought, and what the adult thinks.

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Randy 06/15/2008 11:09 AM 1 point
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The critic imposes his belief of what Augusten should be writing about instead of taking into consideration that maybe he writes like that for a valid reason. Perhaps Augusten hasn't come to grips with what happened to him as a child. People can mature in a myriad of ways but still be stuck at the emotional age in which they were abused. Especially when they talk about that abuse. Plus, this was systematic abuse all the way through his upbringing. He was abandoned ... completely... and had to live his life through his own eyes in order to survive. It does not surprise me at all that he would also write about that time in his life from that vantage point.

Some people come to terms with that *late* in life while others never come to terms with it.

I think the critic is right in that Wolf is a solipsistic affair. I think the tone of the criticism is harsh and that tone is unnecessary. Instead of being harsh perhaps it would be best for the critic to simply understand that this is simply where Augusten was/is as a writer. Instead of dumping on current works maybe exhort Augusten to expand his thoughts on his blog or do a follow up book with further meditations.

Furthermore, Augusten *never* had the benefit of knowing what it meant to have a healthy two way conversation with his parents or even the possibility of that happening. Sure, much of the criticism given was constructive but it came across as rude and lacking sympathy. Augusten revealed some very vulnerable things about his life, maybe for the first time ... there is a way to make all the same criticisms without being what I perceived to be rude.

I do my best to listen to others criticism and extract the good from it in order to be better. But I don't expect other writers and artists to already know and implement what "I" think they should do with their craft. Their work is what it is. My estimation is only my estimation and could be wrong.

Sidenote: Many critics, in my opinion, are their own brand of solipsism and unchecked narcissism. But, that is just my estimation and again, I reserve the right to be wrong.

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