Froggie, Sheila E. And Loose Ends
So, since I have a Summer Guest (Perry) I keep my bedroom door closed at night. I woke up this morning and it was a bit cold. I opened the bedroom door to pop around the corner to turn the temp up. I am full on Chewbacca hair, in my PJ’s and legally blind since I had not put in my contacts yet. As soon as I open the door I see a large black blob right at the threshold. Perry can be a prankster so I thought he might have left some silly trinket that would explode or something if you stepped on it.
I got down on my hands and knees to get a better look… I am truly blind without my contacts.
Wasn’t no stinkin’ practical joke. A frog face just stared back at me. I only screamed like a four year old little girl internally (I am getting better) and shot straight up in the air like Hover Cat. ::: door slam :::
Almost immediately I was like, “It’s only a stupid frog. I hope it doesn’t hop off cause I have to get it out of here.” I yelled at Perry to get the frog out and it turns out Perry … who is 9 feet tall and a Dude’s Dude is petrified of frogs.
So, I get ready, put on my clothes and open the door. The Frog hasn’t moved at all.
Don’t you find that odd?
Perry is frozen in front of his bedroom door (the guest bedroom), scared witless and wanting to run but can’t because that would mean getting closer to the frog … shees.
I take a huge stride over it and went to get two big plastic bowls. My thought was to catch it and put it outside near the front porch to help with the mosquitos.
I turn on the lights, huge distressed gasp escapes from Perry who is still frozen at his end of the hallway. I say, “Dude, that’s the skinniest frog ever … it’s dead?!”
Perry squealed out loud like a four year old little girl. Ok…no he didn’t. But … that’s what he gets for not helping.
Froggie, seriously, looked like he had died of starvation. He took his last breath peering under my bedroom door. I am serious about this too, I had a nightmare that I was trapped in a swamp last night (kind of like a real live experience I had.) Maybe I was picking up his desperate frog vibes? That’s a joke, I am not the frog whisperer.
Now, not too long ago I discovered the remains of another animal in my house … this needs to stop.
So on the way to work XM Suite 62 and The Groove were playing some slammin’ classic Sheila E and Loose Ends. I didn’t mourn over Froggie for long.
Related posts (automatically generated)
Yuck!
Where do all of these creatures come from, and *how* do they get into your house? And why do they keep dying? I’m glad you got to be all cool and do the frog removal for Perry, though.
Do you think dead frogs come back as frog ghosts?
@Brenna - I know! ick. You sound just like Perry.
@Ellie - I dunno. I have to think the frog followed Perry in last night or something. But you know, I would rather find them years dead or freshly dead. I don’t want to smell them before I find them. Know what I’m sayin’?
Yes. I had an opossum die in my garage undiscovered for a couple days once. That was not a pleasant olfactory experience.
It would not have been strange if the frog was alive, though. They have proven to hold bravely still even when my curious Golden Retriever is exploring them during a walk.
@Ellie - :-s
@Mike - Yeah… they are gross at first but then … no biggy. I have been around frogs most of my life.
I HATE frogs… I sometimes wonder why Lucifer didn’t take on the form of a frog rather than a serpent.
Well Funky … there is something about evil frogs in Revelations somewhere.
This is so SAD! My condolences on the passing of your potential mosquito catcher and my sympathies concerning the startlement (if it wasn't a word, it is now).
The Younger Daughter is currently going through a phase of catching tadpoles and releasing them at the creek. Several of them are large enough that they'll likely prove to be bullfrogs eventually. Shall we save one for you and Perry? A friendly one?
k…. name it Perry and take a picture :).
I think there needs to be some sort of support/recovery group for people who find dead animals in their homes. In the past year alone, I’ve found countless lizards, a frog and — the worst of them all — mice. Seriously, I have a mini-myocardial infarction every time.
Oh my GOSH! That was SO funny! TRULY ROFL! I loved this! Great thespian material… Well written! Still laughing! I guess I am in one of those gitty silly modes this morning! Thanks for the incredibly good laugh!
Randy ROCKS!
@Fay … “Hi, My name is Randy and my house murders animals.” Eclectically mixed crowd hyped up on caffeine and cigarettes, “Hi, Randy, glad you are here. Keep coming back!”
I hear you on the infarction. <– that, by the way, is just fun to say.
@Stephen … OMG(osh) u r 2 much! Glad you liked it and got a kick out of it.
Your experiences with animals are too funny! It’s amazing how something like frogs, mice, spiders and bats can force a grown man to utter inner hidden sounds that can reduce him to the size of a two year old! I had an experience with a bat, that refused to leave it’s secure corner of the chimney. Needless to say when it decided to belt out, it swooped down at me in defiance and I did a jig and yelp I hadn’t done since 1st grade!
Bats are awful…
… awfully fun when you add lysol and fire to the mix! …
or so I would imagine.
A friend of mine in Colorado had a bat on his front porch. He told his wife he wanted to see what Lysol would do to it. She told him, “Honey! NO!” He relayed the story to me and I said, “hmmmm… isn’t lysol flammable?”
We both thought that would be cool but his wife won’t let him and I think that those bats are protected legally. He had to chase it off with a broom I think.
wow, now that we’re onto bats: A couple of summers ago I was home alone watching tv in a nearly completely dark house with the front door open. All of a sudden, there was a giant ‘moth’ flying around, which I quickly figured out was a bat (its silhouette looked like the batman logo). I was worried because the dining room fan was on, so I turned that off, and then I grabbed the phone and called my mom while crouching on the floor. Unfortunately for the bat, it wound up flying into the bathroom, which had it completely disoriented, and it was flying around in circles. What we finally wound up doing was closing the doors to every room in the house, and frightening it out of the bathroom. It wound up finally going out the front door again. But it was pretty scary while it was flying around the house (pretty sure bats carry rabies).
Actually, come to think of it, Randy, I guess I too have lots of animals that have wandered into/around my house. I guess I shouldn’t tease you about it so much.
cool. But if they have rabies wouldn’t they try to fight back? Aren’t they unusually aggressive if they have rabies?
Rabies is a really complicated disease, with several stages of progression, and it takes a very long time to go through them all. You can be bitten by an animal that appears perfectly healthy and still be infected with rabies if the animal is carrying the virus but still in the incubation period. This is usually how people in America get rabies (which doesn’t happen very often). It’s also why, if you get bitten by a wild animal or a dog who you don’t know has been vaccinated, you should go to a doctor immediately, even if the animal appears perfectly healthy, so that they can give you a rabies shot if they think it is necessary. I think the most common animals to get rabies from are dogs and cats, bats, raccoons, and skunks (also monkeys, but I have never met a wild monkey), so you should be careful around those animals.
I think that may be a public service announcement…
That was definitely PSA worthy. very informative, thanks!