Not What You Normally See in a Locker Room

I went to go workout after work. Same parking lot. Same lady working at the front desk. Same NTD hootin’ at one of his clients. Same videos playing on the monitors scattered around.

It was all the same … until …

I walked in the locker room to put away my same ol’ stuff. But something wasn’t the “same.” It was quite different actually. I mean there was this guy who dressed the same as anyone else (tennis shoes, shorts, t-shirt … etc). But, he was in the locker room … of a gym … eating pizza.

Not just pizza. Oh no. It was big New York style pizza, cookies … and a smoothie chaser.

He was completely enraptured by the cable news show playing on the monitor in the corner.

I nonchalantly walked passed him. As I put my stuff away in the same locker I usually use I thought, “Did I actually see what I just thought I saw?” I turned around and the same dude was still enthralled, sitting on the bench with a half eaten pizza slice in hand, one still on a paper plate keeping the cookie company. The smoothie looked like it had just been served to him.

I was simultaneously jealous and grossed out. Junk food jealousy and grossed out because … hello … he was in a locker room.

blech.

This story is totally going to end up in one of my teachings or articles or something. Just think about it.

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B.T.Carolus 08/01/2008 04:27 PM 1 point
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Maybe he had amnesia or something and didn't know where he was. You should have checked to make sure he was ok; he could have been consuming the germs that cause athlete's foot or something without even knowing it.

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Randy 08/01/2008 08:04 PM 1 point
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@Ellie - riiiigggghhht. Good to see you Ellie.

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Mensley 08/01/2008 09:33 PM 1 point
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It's amazing what gross things some guys will do. All the time at the movie theater, I see guys come into the restroom and set their drink and/or bag of popcorn or candy on top of the urinal while they're relieving themselves. Then they take it up again and resume snacking. Maybe it's just me, but the sight makes me nauseous.

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http://mikeensley.vox.com

Randy 08/02/2008 11:15 AM 1 point
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@Mensley - Hi Mike! Hope you are feeling better.

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Greg P. 08/03/2008 07:15 PM 1 point
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My initial mental picture after reading this is of a chap that is one step away from turning into a couch potato who will years later talk about how he used to worked out at the gym all the while he is being surgically excised from his recliner. There was a national news story at the beginning of the summer about a lady who went to the bathroom one day and suddenly became fearful to leave the bathroom. Over a year later, emergency workers had to surgically remove the toilet seat from her!
My wife and I joined our local YMCA two weeks ago. Yeah!

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Randy 08/03/2008 07:30 PM 1 point
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@Greg P. - very cool about joining the Y but ... ewwww... on the lady stuck to her seat. Is that a true story or something that came around via email?

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Greg P. 08/03/2008 08:46 PM 1 point
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@Randy - A very true story on TV with video of the bathroom, and an interview with the lady[post toilet seat removal] and the EMS tech with toilet seat in hand, who removed the toilet seat! Officials were going to charge her live-in boyfriend with abuse for not trying to get her help sooner. He fixed all her meals and gave them to her [in the bathroom]. I could go into more detail, but I'm sure you're about to gag about now. It's a really sad story of how fears can destroy our lives and of neglect. Although, the story is morbidly courious!

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Randy 08/03/2008 09:28 PM 1 point
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@Greg P. - oh my word. That is a nightmare! The poor lady and her fear ... and what kind of "dependency" was that boyfriend exhibiting? Sheesh. I don't know about jail time for them but they both have serious psychological problems.

That's just hard to imagine as even possible.

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GregP 08/03/2008 11:24 PM 1 point
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@Randy - Reality is stranger than fiction. I found the story but I couldn't find the video here:
http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/story?section=news/...
Kind of takes your mind off 'locker room guy'!

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Randy 08/03/2008 11:30 PM 1 point
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@GregP - Sheesh. ok... I believe you. Yuck. Let's talk about something else now ... I just hope I don't have nightmares tonight.

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GregP 08/04/2008 12:05 AM 1 point
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A-M-E-N!

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John Galt (Via Facebook) 08/12/2008 07:17 PM 1 point
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This was funny. It sounds like something I would be caught doing. Actually, I haven't been in a locker room for years, I get my exercise in the garden or behind the drums. Very nice collection of posts. Thanks for the add.

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Randy Thomas (Via Facebook) 08/12/2008 07:19 PM 1 point
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Thank you John. These notes are imported from my blog and the blog actually mirrors what happens here too (comments.)

Good for you on the garden and I am glad to have you as a friend on Facebook.

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