On Chris Fabry Live Concerning Ray Boltz “Coming Out”

by Randy on September 16, 2008 · Comments

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Yesterday I was on the Chris Fabry Live! Show (Moody Broadcasting) concerning the story of famous Christian singer Ray Boltz. It was concerning how Mr. Boltz is now saying that he is gay and finally at peace with pursuing homosexual relationships.

It wasn’t the best interview I’ve ever done and I think it is in part due to the fact that the whole thing is so sad to me. Let me explain, I feel awful for him that he felt so isolated and suffered from shame. It’s sorrowful that he didn’t feel like he could be honest and transparent with others unless it was to embrace a gay identity and worldview.

Boltz says, in an interview with a gay newspaper, that he read all the books but never went to an Exodus group or event. I also don’t know Mr. Boltz personally. So I have no real context for what he did or didn’t apply to his life. All I do know is that for myself, I can’t just read books about relational issues. I have to apply those lessons and principles in a transparent and unfiltered relational life. Along with thousands upon thousands since the Corinthian Church (1 Cor. 6:9-11), I found that I could live out my faith, and sexuality, in a way that brings peace and contentment. I had to apply the knowledge gained from books and teachings into real life transparent relationships. I had to get out of my own head and start actually relating to people in honest and Biblically appropriate ways. This was necessary so that I could grow from the wisdom that can only be achieved through applied knowledge.

It was a much more difficult road than embracing a gay identity but one I found very worth traveling down.

I know there is enormous pressure by the homosexual community to say that embracing a gay worldview is the only way to be “honest.” I know personally that isn’t true. I pray someday that Mr. Boltz will also reconsider the testimony of those like myself.

I was really blessed by Boltz in the early days of my faith walk. I didn’t even like Contemporary Christian Music back then (still have a hard time with most of it). I will remember those songs for the blessings that they are but they will also serve as a reminder to pray for Mr. Boltz and his family.

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Viewing 95 Comments

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    Randy,

    Thank you (no pun intended) for your leadership and voice on this topic in regards to Ray Boltz. I believe you did a wonderful job of representing the truth, with grace and compassion! I dont think it was a bad interview at all!

    I have met Ray at least once, and am a huge fan. I love him, will pray for him, and believe that the work God began, he will be faithful to complete. As you know, the walk that Ray is currently walking is not the walk he may have even a year from now.

    Thanks again Randy for all you do (and Exodus) as God leads you on the front line. As I have told you before - you make me proud to be apart of the body of Christ!

    Blessings,

    Jay
    2 Cor. 5:17
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    Jay that is very kind of you to say. I noticed I wandered in my answer a little bit in the middle and I was so sad for the first caller and only had seconds to answer him.

    I also will be watching Ray as he moves forward. People go through different "seasons" and we all need to take care.
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    I sang Ray Boltz songs for years! This is truly a sad moment. But I believe that God can still lead Ray to a place of wholeness and will pray for him earnestly. I also know his son and we must pray for him as well. Many of us know what this kind of news can do to a family. Randy, I haven't heard the interview...but remember there is never a bad interview...just difficult ones. This, I'm certain, was difficult because as you have already said, and many of us agree, it was a sad moment. Let's continue to pray for Ray and his family. God can still use him and his work.
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    Praying for the family is very crucial. His ex-wife has gotten involved in pro-gay activism with Mel White.

    Thanks for the words of encouragement. I don't think it was a bad interview ... just not my best. Plus, it really isn't about me. The Lord can turn all things for good.
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    Hi Randy,

    Thanks for the response... you know, I was taken a little back by the news when I heard because the songs Ray Boltz sang have always inspired me. I don't know, I read through the Washington Blade through the link that you had given and well, I'm sad by it all. I'm just simply sad. I'm still in a state of shock.

    And you are so right, it's even more sad of the fact that he felt that he couldn't be himself unless he accepted a gay identity. It's hard to go through so many years being trapped with such silence. He's done some amazing work but I can't say that his new work will be at the same level. Well, perhaps now a different crowd will relate to Ray Boltz as he sings songs about his journey "coming out" I mean, there is some obvious pain there that he has been working through and no doubt those who are working through the same issues will relate to that and find some kind of encouragement. I mean, I don't wish it upon anybody to feel absolutely alone in what they're struggling with and so it's grace and mercy that enables us to walk with each other through the challenges that do come our way.

    I'm still processing. I think it will be a while before I can stop processing.
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    It takes a while to process grief. I am sure you will make it through.
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    Hi randy...God is still in control...We love Ray boltz,and his family...maybe God will use Ray , in the near future to turn alot of homosexual people back to Him. You see, my prayer for Ray is this....I claim him for the kingdom...Jesus already has paid the price for Ray, as for all of us, God is able to take this stumblingblock in his life, and turn it into a steppingstone for Ray to convert lots of people intangled in this kind of lifestyle...So accepted...Sin just doesn't seem like sin anymore, so widely accepted. I truly believe that if we, as christians take back what the enemy has stolen, we will see Ray Boltz greatly used by God again for His purpose...We need to all pray in agreement for him and all who has accepted this lifestyle...God is so loving...Neverending...We all sin, Sin is Sin...We alll need to just love and pray...It is great that you interviewed him. Thank you for being an ear for the people. God bless you.
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    Hi Tressa!

    I will agree to pray with you that he would turn toward the Lord with his identity and sexuality in a way that he seemingly is not doing right now. I love that you left a comment and wanted to add a little clarification. At Exodus, we don't "convert" people out of a "lifestyle." It's more complex than those two words. We help people dealing with issues of identity, worldview and sexual stewardship. We offer our opinions and resources. It is up to the individual to apply that to their lives or not. So, ultimately we are simply conduits, not the converters :), of information and the end result is a personal decision by each individual with regard to their own life (whatever "style" or substance that entails.)

    Tressa, thank you for your comment. I don't know that I have seen you around here before (forgive me if I have.) Welcome and thank you for sharing your heart.
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    What strikes me most about this was how Ray Boltz felt he had to struggle in silence for so long. He knew he couldn't minister, couldn't be a Christian singer and follow his calling--and still be a struggling human being at the same time.

    This is part of a resounding wake-up call to the Church--it's time for transparency and grace!
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    I know and it is odd to me. I think this is a common theme among men his age who struggle with same sex attractions and grew up in the church. I benefited from pursuing a life beyond homosexuality in a time where it was much more accepted and tolerated in the Body of Christ. I was always out with my my gay identity and that openness didn't change once I decided to pursue a different path.

    However, I didn't grow up in the church and I know when I was younger it was MUCH worse than today. That's the part I can't relate to Boltz about. I see it a lot with men who have had that kind of history with cultural Christianity.

    I think transparency and grace are definitely on the rise. I am so encouraged by what I have seen take place over the past 8 -10 years. Unfortunately, I think we are reaping the consequences of bad decisions made 30+ years ago.
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    There are two very sad consequences from this. One, of course, is that many who struggle and look up to Ray may now feel inclined to follow his example. And the second is the tragic result of following the hollow promise that "embracing" a gay identity will lead to happiness. Ray has looked around the corner and seen something that appears attractive....and so he has turned that corner to pursue the attraction. But that corner leads to a dead end street.
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    Randy, (and others)
    When I hear you use the term "gay worldview" I have to admit I am confused by what that term means for you. I would really value some clarity about that. I could guess as to what that means or what I think you mean by it, but I would rather have it defined from your perspective.

    -Joe
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    I think you understand the word gay and the word worldview mean individually. With *any* community there is an ideology and worldview. It's just a generic use of descriptive words.

    For an anchor in context for here though:

    world·view (wûrld'vyōō') Pronunciation Key
    n. ...

    1. The overall perspective from which one sees and interprets the world.
    2. A collection of beliefs about life and the universe held by an individual or a group.

    "worldview." Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. 16 Sep. 2008. Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/worldvie...>

    I believe that identifying as gay has a default assumed set of beliefs on many things including how to view the same sex, opposite sex and in some cases who God is or isn't. I believe that co-identifying with others who are gay will also shape or influence what you view as social justice issues, public policy goals and how tolerance and acceptance is truly expressed.

    For most I have met, and in my own past, I found that being "gay" is somehow attached to everything they do or believe. It becomes a life-filter in a way. While opinions run the range of issues within the gay community, there is still a default set of "worldview" issues that are inherent for most. Examples: "I'm born this way" "being gay is not a choice" "I should be able to marry my partner" and many others.

    I don't mean it in a negative way, just a descriptive way.

    It's odd to me that for many of those who have embraced their gay community don't want to admit that a general worldview exists at some level for that community. It exists for every other community and I wonder why some are so offended by someone acknowledging a gay worldview/ideology exists.
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    Randy,
    If I get all this correctly, you are saying there exists a lens through which people who identify as gay see certain issues like the origins of homosexuality, the place of gender in society and how to define god. I also hear you saying that you believe that even those who do not identify as gay, but identify as supporters also have a certain ideology that might fit under the blanket of "gay worldview".

    I also hear you feel surprised that many GLBT folks do want to identify with this or that is someway the appear "offended" when someone claims this worldview exists. Hopefully, I understand what this means for you.

    Assuming that I understand correctly, I might say that many gays and lesbians may not be "offended" at the idea such a thing exists, but more afraid of what they are agreeing exists. I can't say that before this, I fully understood the intentions of those who used this term. I admit, like most, I assumed it to be a negative remark. I would suggest that many gay people deny it exists because they don't know what it is or what it means coming from people they assume to be judging them.

    I think the reactions of gay people could be different if they knew what this "worldview" meant to you. Most of us learned what a worldview is in Philosophy class, but that is not the same as knowing how it applies to this. It is also not the same as knowing what it means to someone who they already assume is against them. (regardless if they are or are not).

    I might also add that many gays and lesbians don't have a "community" so when the term is used, it doesn't fit them. I am one of those people who doesn't really associate myself with "the community". I don't go to pride festivals, I don't go to gay bars, I don't have many gay friends. So I too, roll my eyes when I hear statements that refer to the gay community. Unlike many other communities, gay people can be hidden without a community to cling to.

    -Joe
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    Thank you for the thoughtful response Joe. That makes sense. I really appreciate you taking the time to think it through and explain. It's really helpful.
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    If you’re “same-sex attracted”, then, so far as I can gather, NOT embracing a “gay identity and worldview” means either:

    (1) spending the rest of your life trying to persuade yourself and everyone else that you’re straight, or

    (2) acknowledging that you’re “same-sex attracted”, but spending the rest of your life fretting over it and telling yourself that it would be better if you weren’t.

    Either way, it’s a waste of a life.
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    1) I don't have to persuade myself or anyone. I am secure in who I am and what I believe regardless of your dismissive attitude.

    2) I can assure you I am neither fretting or a waste.

    But thanks for the comment.
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    That's a good response. My question always is ... why must people label themselves? I sometimes get frustrated with people who want to label me either "gay" or "straight" .... Why can't I just be a woman created in God's Image who just happens to be on a journey of discovering what had always intended for me. By the way, that pretty much is the journey that Christians are in regardless if they have issues surrounding same-sex attraction and Gender Identity issues or not.

    And I'd agree with you Randy, and can also testify to not fretting and I'm certainly not a waste either. And neither do I go about trying to pursuade myself and/or others in who I am.
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    More like this:

    1) Thinking, relating and living beyond labels like "straight" and "gay" and seeking the mystery of what it means to be alive in Christ.

    2) Being at peace with the fact that our feelings are sometimes in conflict with who God wants us to be, and knowing there's grace to struggle and room to grow.

    And by the way change does happen...