Witnessing Unconditional Love And Conviction - Ask It Basket
November 12, 2008 by Randy
Filed under Ask It Basket, Christianity, Church, Friends, Gay, Homosexuality, Life, People, Prayer
One of my 1,009 (as of this post) fbff’s (FaceBook Friends Forever) sent the following … answer after the jump (edits mine for anonymity purposes.)
… I have a (friend) who is gay who I recently shared the gospel with … I tried to be as sensitive as possible (just so you know, I did not imply that I assumed he wasn’t a believer just because he was gay) and he responded very graciously as well. He says that he already knows what I’m talking about because he grew up in the Church of Christ. He says he believes in the unconditional love of the Trinity and has a relationship with the Lord. He says that he hasn’t gotten into discussions about religion/faith with me when I’ve brought it up before because he believes it’s personal between him and the Lord. I would really love to hear your perspective on where I can go from here. I am a grace-oriented person and I don’t intend to stand in judgment over him or where he’s at with the Lord. I’m sure he’s gotten all kinds of responses from the church (he made mention of being in disagreement about how the church deals in conditional love). I know God accepts us where we’re at and I don’t think you can judge someone’s justification by their level of sanctification, but I do believe the Holy Spirit does bring conviction at some point to a genuine believer and I’m not sure how to respond at this point. Any advice? … I really just want to know how to help and I thought you would have great insight.
I think it is great that you are intentional to be a gracious person who doesn’t want to stand in judgment over his salvation. I would be careful to respect his reservations of getting involved in religious discussions with you. That said …
Life is so much more than this one issue and there are a myriad of spiritual concerns, opportunities and events that you could relate to him on. I think the idea that sticks out the most to me in your message is the “unconditional love” concept.
Anyone can love those they agree with but unconditional love is only fully defined in the context of opposition. To unconditionally love someone means you love them even when you don’t agree or find it difficult to love them. Unconditional love does not mean a complete lack of conflict, blind acceptance or no need for boundaries. It means I love you no matter what you do or don’t do whether we agree or disagree. I am not going anywhere.
It’s unconditional :).
Unfortunately, Christians are like most in our culture and we want nice and neat relationships. Relationships that are entertaining, no-conflict and free of “entangling” issues. We want easy relational lives so are often reluctant to commit to friendships based in unconditional love. We tend to just move on or help others to move out of our lives. And that is unfortunate. We have a lot of people claiming to unconditionally love people as long as those other people condone everything they do.
And that would be conditional :).
That said, I know many Christians who understand the true concept of unconditional love. In fact, I have experienced that much more in the Christian community than anywhere else. It’s more glaring when Christians don’t exhibit this because of the example of Christ. That’s why I think we get pegged with it more than the fact that we live in a pretty self-centered culture.
The second point that sticks out to me is the part where you say that the Holy Spirit does bring conviction to a “true” believer at some point. I would agree with you. But, I think there is often this false pressure that *we* are the messenger of the Spirit to bring that conviction. I personally believe, and I hope I don’t step on any theological toes here, that the work of repentance is in no way dependent on *our* timing and faithfulness. If we do miss an opportunity and not faithful to follow the Spirit’s leading… I think *we* are the ones who miss out on the blessing. The work of repentance in another’s life can’t be limited by our frailty. God will work in others lives as He sees fit no matter what because He is MUCH bigger than our limited perspective. Yes, if He is telling you to do something… you need to do it. But another person’s salvation and/or repentance cannot be dependent on your actions because you are not the Savior and will make mistakes … and it is ok.
But you probably know that already.
I think we need to be sacrificially serving with kind acts, friendship and civility but also honest (another expression of unconditional love) when asked questions or different topics are brought to our attention. In other words, God will bring about plenty of opportunities, motivation and inspiration. We don’t have to go and make them happen.
As for timing, the thief who put his trust in Christ while dying on a cross next to Jesus didn’t have time to “repent” of everything before entering “the Kingdom.” God only asks us to place our faith in Jesus as our Lord and Savior and to be faithful to His direction. He asks us to be obedient to His will. What others (believers or not) do when given what we would consider “T”ruth is really up to them and God. I would dare say that none of us will die fully sanctified first. I rest easy knowing that the timing and truth balance is all in the domain of the Holy Spirit.
Finally, enjoy your friend. People are fascinating. I haven’t met one that isn’t. Even the boring ones with bad breath :). Listen to him a lot. Pray for him a lot. Also, let him bless you. Plus, you already probably knew everything in this post but I just want to affirm that it is quite alright to be led by the Lord, agenda free, unconditionally loving but also being an honest friend.
Plus, I don’t know everything… and I tend to talk a lot. If anyone else has ideas please share them in the comments. Also… don’t forget, if you have something for the Ask It Basket … just click here.
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