Can I tell you how happy I am to have a reason to create a sports category 
… SO very happy.
You know that whole story about the Bionic Woman from yesterday? Well, there was a whole sub-plot that happened simultaneously on the cram-packed shuttle bus.
The Bionic Woman was wearing purple but I don’t think she was a part of the whole other scene happening on the bus. EVERYONE was wearing either purple or orange. Except for me. I was wearing a black sweatshirt.
That’s how I roll … comfort-wear.
Before I got all into it with Bionic woman, I said to the man next to me, “at the risk of sounding stupid…what’s going on here?” Pointing to the mass of purple and orange.
He said, “It’s Utah vs. TCU!” And several approving heads of the almost all male crammed packed shuttle bus nodded in knowing agreement.
I said, “So what do the Mormons have against the Texas Croquet Union?”
Just kidding… I didn’t ask that. I really really wanted to.
Then, all the fella’s just started jawing like a bunch of women at a beauty parlor. Sorry if that sounds sexist but … have you ever heard a bunch of women at a beauty parlor? They talk almost as much as men gossiping about football. These fellas were talking, names, stats, defensive line positions, records, the new Nike uniforms being revealed at the game … and on and on.
Then it hit me. My inner dialog said, “This is exactly how I felt in Mexico most of the time.” When I went to Mexicali I spent most of the five days there just smiling, nodding like I had some sort of notion of what my new Spanish speaking friends were saying. When they laughed, I laughed. When they all stopped and lowered their heads in prayer, I would too. When some mischievousness was going on, cause you can always tell when mischievousness is going on, I’d raise my eyebrows with a fun-play-along “Hold up there smarty-pants” look. When they would start clapping their hands in worship, I was the last person to catch on and the one person who did the very last “clap” when everyone else knew to stop. I was responding to their body language and tone and had no clue what they were saying. Frank said I had some sort of permanent “awkward smile” thing happening.
I hate eavesdropping and not understanding the conversation I am actually eavesdropping in on. And yet, I totally did it.
The same is true for this crowd of football fans. I had NO clue what the heck they were talking about. But when they’d grunt and say, “Boy howdy that kid’s got an arm!” I’d awkwardly smile and say, “You ain’t kiddin’!!!! like a rocket that arm is! But, football schmootball… While y’all are watching rocket boy I am going to a banquet celebrating 20 years of freedom from homosexuality!!! Isn’t that AWESOME!”
Just kidding … I didn’t say that either. But I really really wanted to.
I just smiled awkwardly instead and prayed for Tiger Woods to have a great time playing goalie.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Sooo funny, ’cause I am stereotyped the other way as a sports fan (and former athlete). I really enjoy a good football game. Have been a lifelong NFL fan of certain teams, in particular. I know names and some history, but I could never rattle off stats like the guys do. I come from a family of athletes and sports nuts. My husband, God bless him, is quite sane about sports today. He was also an athlete, even playing on a state champion football team in high school. He and my daughters just shook their heads when I was (pretty much solo) glued to the tube back in 2005 when the Red Sox (that’s Boston, in case you didn’t know) finally broke the long \Curse of the Bambino\ and came back from three games down (unheard of) to beat the Yankees in the AL playoffs before going on to sweep the Cardinals in the World Series. One of the sweetest moments in all of sports, second for me only to our young U.S. hockey team winning the gold medal in the 1980 Olympics, having knocked off the Soviet Union in the semis. For that one, I was literally jumping up and down on the sofa. Yes, FAN-atic. But I also was soon bound for Northern Norway where, as a Marine public affairs officer, I would brief international media on a NATO exercise while Soviet submarines monitored our every move just off the coast. It was a big PR comeback for the Marine Corps. We seriously kicked butt! You gotta remember the climate back in early 1980. Reagan was just coming into office, our hostages had just been freed in Iran (we all still smarted from the failed rescue attempt under Carter) and the hockey win was just more icing on the cake. We needed it all. OK, taking a breath now. Sorry.
I only play around about not knowing about sports. I know enough to get by. Thanks for sharing your life story. While you were literally jumping up and down on the sofa my brother and I were SCREAMING jumping and running around our living room. I remember that like yesterday. GREAT memory. I think the whole country was glued to the tube that day.
“Thanks for sharing your life story.”
LOL. Yeah, my life in microcosm — Reader’s Digest condensed chapter. Be happy you don’t have to read “the novel.”
ok, you made me laugh out loud…more than once.
I especially loved (and particularly related to) the Mexicali paragraph!! Welcome to my life for the past year! 
Yeah…just wanted to say hi, Randy, and thanks for the laughs. Hope you’re well.
Hello Mindy! Might be the same social dynamic communication-wise but I bet Germany is quite a bit different than Mexicali. Just a guess. It’s great to see you too.