First the letter and more after the jump
Dear Tropical Storm Fay,
In the spirit of my ongoing efforts to talk storms out of their paths of destruction I must implore you to be reasonable and reverse course, missing all land and then head toward the North Atlantic. I have milk, eggs and chicken in the fridge. I paid good money for all that stuff! I really would like to keep the electricity on to preserve them.
::: horror ::: OMG(osh) if you knock out the power I can’t blog … ::: Iwillnotfreakout :::
Plus, Florida already has a Fay. She’s fun, cute, eloquent, cool, smart … fun. And she doesn’t scare people. Tropical Storm Fay … you scare people.
Did you know that you scare people … little Ms. Tropical Storm Fay? Well … you do.
For example, I went to the grocery store tonight and all the bread was gone. And … hello … Where are the bananas? … anyone? ::: poof ::: gone.
The water aisle was barren and D batteries are being traded in the parking lot for non-perishable luxury items. So what if I got a brand new R2D2 paper weight out of the deal!? People are scared and it’s all your fault Ms. “I wannabe Cat 1 Hurricane” Fay.
Remember the cute Fay I mentioned earlier in the letter? TS Fay … you are not her. Florida only has room for one Fay and we already claimed her. Plus, if you give her a bad name … I don’t wanna’ be you when her Mom finds out.
Just sayin’.
So, Tropical Storm Fay, go away and don’t come back another day. ::: cheesy grin ::: great alliteration huh? :::
Sincerely,
Randy
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