Should Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Be Repealed?
A High School friend (we will call Mr. Cars) I reconnected with on Facebook recently sent me an intriguing message/musing about DADT (Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.) I have reprinted it here in its entirety (with permission.)
Have you weighed in about the current push to end don’t ask/don’t tell and remove the prohibition against gays serving openly in the armed forces?
Before putting you on the spot for your thinking, here’s my streamoconsciousness. I’m against removing the requirement that folks attracted to the same sex in the military keep that to themselves.
I haven’t read/studied the issue, and I’ve only come at it from the perspective of the armed services being very peculiar functional and goal-based organizations, not analogous to other subcultures, associations, and the culture/society at large.
You don’t have to do or accomplish anything in particular to be a citizen. Born here? Congrats. Most of us aren’t required to promise or take any kind of oath to be/remain Americans. It’s automatic no matter what we think or say. Even breaking the law doesn’t get citizens kicked out of the county. It can get us punished, because the alternative is anarchy. But for those of us for whom citizenship is automatic, there’s not much we can be/think/say/do to be disqualified from citizenship.
The church says bring all your past, problems, and perversions and we will take you as you are. But contentedly stay as you are, and you’ll be disciplined, maybe even kicked out. We promised or took oaths. Having been raised from the dead spiritually and desiring to be transformed are the qualifications for joining/remaining. Like me, members can show a remarkable lack of progress and be shot full of conflicting and troublesome beliefs/views/confessions/behaviors and still…we’re in.
Utah Vs. TCU – Don't Worry It's Not Really About Soccer
Can I tell you how happy I am to have a reason to create a sports category 
… SO very happy.
You know that whole story about the Bionic Woman from yesterday? Well, there was a whole sub-plot that happened simultaneously on the cram-packed shuttle bus.
The Bionic Woman was wearing purple but I don’t think she was a part of the whole other scene happening on the bus. EVERYONE was wearing either purple or orange. Except for me. I was wearing a black sweatshirt.
That’s how I roll … comfort-wear.
Before I got all into it with Bionic woman, I said to the man next to me, “at the risk of sounding stupid…what’s going on here?” Pointing to the mass of purple and orange.
He said, “It’s Utah vs. TCU!” And several approving heads of the almost all male crammed packed shuttle bus nodded in knowing agreement.
I said, “So what do the Mormons have against the Texas Croquet Union?”
Just kidding… I didn’t ask that. I really really wanted to.
The Gospel According to Clever Rudeness
I’ve noticed a growing trend that some Christians are adopting a worldly snarkiness and belittling toward other Christians. And it isn’t just the young being rebellious or the old being cantankerous. It’s all across the board. It’s as if some of us are reveling in the idea that we can join with the world in just bashing old school, institutionalized, quirky, far right, far left or not “relevant” Christians. Then, when those who are judged to have the wrong modern approach defend themselves, they are then criticized for being defensive and even more judgmental.
Old ways of imposing judgment based legalism are being supplanted by a new “more relevant” more “inclusive” way of imposing judgment based legalism. Both of which alienate, pigeonhole and promote ones own brand of living out the gospel as the only right way of living out the gospel. Legalism used to be imposed with stern looks, harsh rules and stoic heartlessness. Now it’s being delivered in heartless and flippant humor, personal attacks and shockingly permissive disrespect.
Notice that heartless is the only constant theme I have for the spread of legalism through modern times. I am sure it is a theme of legalism throughout church history.
Brief Interviews With Hideous Men – Movie Review
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URCMDgdKMWk&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&border=1]
The movie contained elements that were misogynistic, crass, at times juvenile, man hating simplistic, surprisingly deep, unexpectedly emotional, often disturbing, intricately layered, funny, refreshingly honest, full of consistent foreshadowing, symbolism and narration … You walk away going … that was actually a really well made film.
One scene, where a man is describing his father, who has been a washroom attendant his whole life, was brilliant … simply brilliant. When the scene ended I literally said out loud, “That was brilliant.”
I also love that most of the wisdom that comes forward, comes from the invisible made visible narration of the servants in the movie.
Of course my own Christian sensibilities wanted to say that there is SO much more to men than this humanist/rationale had reduced them too. Even so, the movie is commendable because it doesn’t shy away from the fact that men are both simple on one level and yet infinitely more complex than the secular stereotypes placed on them. It’s hard to explain. And of course I thought it was a great expose of what sexuality and emotional intimacy (and the abuse thereof) outside of marriage can do to hurt people.
I also love that there was no nudity and most of the sexual talk wasn’t detailed or explained in an erotic manner.
There are a couple of scenes that do come close to that line but even there the sexuality isn’t the main focus. The men’s perceptions, reactions, observations … some of them were heartbreaking.
One was hilarious. (shown in the trailer.)
Honestly, I watched it after some recommendations to do so expecting that I would turn it off at some point. I not only didn’t turn it off, I found it quite thought provoking.
Pink Crosses Highlight the Plight Of Porn Stars
Wow
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMRbpdV0vHY&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1]
Shelley Lubben is the second person to speak … very frankly … about some of the hardships porn stars face. Good for her. It’s important to remember that the sexual hedonism in our culture isn’t relegated to the partying side of the gay community … it’s everywhere. The people involved in this industry (homosexual, heterosexual … whatever) are all known to God by name and it is important that we pray for them too.
Hat Tip: Covenant Eyes
Ex-Gay = Straight?
Rose writes:
>I don’t see our “thinking” has changed at all.
Hmmm. I preceive there being less suggestion that ex-gay = straight. You don’t think so?
>All of the questions you have asked are available in short form in many areas across this blog and the Exodus website.
Well, I know. I guess I wanted some analysis on how you got here, rather than where you are. I know your testmony, it’s more that it seems like a shift over the years. Maybe it’s something that’s happened gradually enough that you haven’t noticed it. Or maybe Jay and I misread? But if you do concede you’re evolving (hope I am too), then what do you think drives that? Surely it’s clear that the ex-gay movement seemed to push “acheiving heterosexual marriage” as a goal or idealized outcome much more a few years back?
Originally posted as a comment by Rose on ETC: Everyday Thoughts Collected using Disqus.
I’ve never, and I don’t think Exodus ever, believed or suggested ex-gay only equals straight and married. Anyone who knows my story … knows that I don’t believe that is the only option for people living with or once had same sex attractions. I don’t even believe that is a complete or proper framework for the debate.
Sometimes I have used these labels but I do not want to ever be known simply as gay, ex-gay or straight. I am Randy <– The Advocate loved that one. (I said the “I am not gay or ex-gay …” in the full page ad in the LA Times.) I reject these labels. I tried them all on (rarely since becoming a Christian) thinking that they might fit, even flippantly up through the past few years … and I always regretted it.
The pigeonholes are so ingrained that most people don’t want to consider there is a “beyond” for all of those labels. Yet I know there is because that is what I live.
But then many people demand instant answers and absolutely refuse to talk outside of the constructed frame of reference those pigeonholes provide. In fact quite a few people are absolutely intolerant of challenging that construct. It is tempting to take the easy way out and try to communicate within that construct. And more often than not, when you do make the distinctions (which we honestly try to do in every interview) they are ignored. It doesn’t profit the infotainment industry to report our explanations and nuances. It doesn’t profit our opponents to repeat anything other than the sound bites that work toward their goals. And their goals are definitely not to explain our reality the way *we* see it. Their echo chamber has been highly successful among their own but our movement has grown by leaps and bounds because we are not simplistic, legalistic dunderheads.
Even this post will be picked apart and reframed to fit their goals for how people view us. And they will do so with fake question marks and their “need” for clarification (read verbal double bind traps, arguments from fragments or silence and ad hominem.)
Some see us as an “ex-gay movement.” That has never been the way we see ourselves. We are a ‘movement’ for sure but we have always been about a whole heck of a lot more than what “ex-gay” implies. We have always been much more than those seeking notoriety at our expense have allowed for. It’s a good thing I don’t look to them for definition or direction.
Now, some, a few, in our movement did uphold biblical marriage as the main proof of healing (especially in the early days and decreasingly so up through the ’90’s). But … when you are talking about tens of thousands of people (hundreds of thousands?) and hundreds of ministries over 33 years, with millions of people talking about it, you are going to get all kinds of messages. I am glad I came up through a ministry that did not have this limited view or I would have walked out quickly because being “gay” was the only thing I knew. I never thought I would not be same sex attracted so it wasn’t even a goal at that time. My only goal was to get to know the God I fell in love with even more and to “abide in Christ.” (discipleship.)
The media, and activists, loved highlighting those who emphasized marriage and found it convenient to say that was our only goal. They reduce us to that being are only goal but I have never been told and I have never told someone they had to be heterosexual and/or married to be “whole,” “free from temptation” or to live in congruency with their faith. At the same time, many have moved into marriage and have every single right in the world to rejoice in that outcome for their lives. It’s a beautiful thing.
I also believe that being content in Christ as a celibate person is a beautiful thing. Just as beautiful and committed, in a different way, than a married couple.
And, for what it is worth, 16 years ago I was 100% attracted to men and now I am predominantly attracted to women. <– That’s not ever been the goal but it has happened in my “post-gay” journey (not identity.)
I don’t consider myself any “less than” for not being married. A lot of the reasons I did turn to a gay identity and homosexual behavior were legitimate needs. I stewarded those needs toward ways that I think are truly the best ways to meet those needs. Some of the reasons I turned to a gay identity and homosexual behavior would also be defined by my faith as sinful so I did pursue ways to live in obedience to what I believe to be true. Doing so was not harmful or hateful but freeing to me. As a result … the drive toward homosexuality and the gay identity/community has greatly diminished to the point that I seriously have zero desire to pursue either. That doesn’t mean I can’t be tempted.
My goals were to find my identity in Christ alone and to determine what I wanted to do with feelings and yearnings to be able to live in a way that I determined was in line with a biblical sexual and relational ethic. That is what freedom from homosexuality looks like to me and most of the people I know in this movement. I believe I have found success (along with thousands of thousands of others) in both areas (identity and behavior) and communicate that with those of like mind or are interested.
An Honest Defense of Carrie Prejean
A friend dared me to title this post “But I DON’T WANNA Bigger Tiara when I get to heaven!” I was very tempted but … it wasn’t really an accurate description of what follows.
Let’s talk about Carrie Prejean.
She’s charismatic. She knows what she believes and says so. She was put on the spot and while she fumbled a bit, she said it like she sees it. She isn’t intimidated by the Media Hit machine. She is gorgeous and intelligent … I like her.
What I don’t understand are Christians equating what she did as some sort of “stand for God.” If I hear that she is a “modern day Esther” one more time I might resort to drumming my fingers on my desk so as not to say something stupid. I also have read quite a few comments about how because the “reward” she lost (the Miss USA crown) as a result of sticking to her guns on marriage will lead to a “larger reward” in heaven.
Really? God is going to give her a larger reward because she stood up to Perez Hilton (video)? With all due respect to Carrie, she is being persecuted because of her stand on marriage … not for preaching Christ crucified.
It’s not the same thing.
When I think of Christians getting a “larger reward” in Heaven, I think of the martyr Stephen, the martyred apostles, disciples and saints through the years. I think of the murdered Christians of Darfur, the Indian Christians being killed right now, the Chinese Christians being run underground and imprisoned. I think of Mother Theresa and other amazing Christian leaders throughout history that helped millions, helped abolish slavery, helped the underground railroad or to help German Jews in WWII … among a MYRIAD of phenomenal testimonies. Again, not a criticism of Carrie but the truth is she is selling a book, doing national speaking gigs and gaining fame and notoriety … not taking a vow of poverty or smuggling Bibles into Iran.
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